I always wonder how a simple conversation on a random topic can unearth a variety of emotions hidden inside oneself. There is nothing more complex, intricate and yet interesting than an indulging conversation, be it verbal or gestural, and that too with a person whom you have barely known before. The same happened to me recently. It was just a random ‘Whats-app’ conversation with one of my colleagues who has just joined the department and is trying to get herself acquainted to the norms, practices and behavior of a variety of people around her and also their prejudices. Being a Delhi girl she was very well familiar with the patriarchy, chauvinism and misogyny which is deep rooted in the society and living examples of which are easily visible on the streets, public transport, organizational set ups and media but may be, she didn’t expect the same to have existed in this official set up.
So, we chatted on and as I asked her about the environment of the office, she took no time in registering her strong disapproval of the same misogynistic and sexist attitude of many of her male colleagues and condemned it completely. Though it is quite hard to dive in to the mind of people whom you are texting on a social medium and understand the emotions behind every text but I could certainly infer that she was upset, agonized and extremely angry about it. In course of this virtual conversation, which is a boon to introverts like me, she tried to bring this topic to an end by making a quote and it was actually that very quote which instantly struck, like lightning, to my mind and made me express, in verse, this topic on which I often pour my heart out. To let you know, that quote is actually the title of this poem- “Eyes reflect your intention”.
Be it even an animal or us humans, it is true that one craves for attention,
But unwanted attention always comes with an ensuing tension.
You call me weaker sex; but still looking at me you go weak in your knees,
Why do you give those unwanted stares that feel like a sting of bees?
–
I am grown up enough to know the difference between a glance and a stare,
Why then you don’t understand that that look often gives me a scare?
Your undeterred ogling and amorous glances need no newer mention,
As it’s easy to get into your mind because your eyes reflect your intention.
Be it at work, home, road or in a bus, I’m acquainted of that very manner,
When your eyes fix that gaze on me and work like an optical scanner.
Those pupils hovering from top to bottom as if doing a security check,
Giving me those uneasy moments, smashing my modesty to a wreck.
There’s not even a single moment when I am spared of that menacing gaze,
And your unflinching attitude, shamelessly keeps it steady and unfazed.
Why do you scream with your eyes; come open your mouth without fear.
Just come and confront my guts, come talk, don’t backbite my dear.
–
The patriarchal filth in your mind makes you stoop down so low and comment,
That her donning of denims, skirts and tops is what we all should lament.
A mere show of legs, cleavage or skin makes you assured,
That there is no harm in calling her a trull, slut or whore.
Candidness in speech accompanied by a smile and frankness,
is directly taken as an indication of being tarty and promiscuous.
Hundreds of us have fallen prey to this chronically sick mentality,
Scores of ‘Nirbhayas’ have lost their lives to this abject brutality.
We discuss, we debate, we poll, we propagate but does that really affect you?
Does that really kill the demon in your minds, does that really correct you?
The need of the hour is to introspect, to mark an end of this malaise,
To look upon her with dignity, to treat her with utmost love and grace.
–
I am still glad that not all of you cause me that sheer discomfort,
The sweeter lot among you make my day with that cute flirty effort.
It never feels bad to be a receiver of genuine affection and attention,
But that honesty needs to be in your eyes as your Eyes reflect your intention.
-Mohak Chaudhary
30.12.2016
The Screaming Introvert 