Who doesn’t love the shiny attractive vibes emitted by a good heart? Everyone does. But least known is the grind of grief, sacrifice and pain which keeps it illuminated- good things come at a cost. Don’t they?
©Mohak Chaudhary
29.05.2017
Month: May 2017
SURE or RUSE?
Despite of you being sure you’re asked, again asked, repeatedly asked, expected to be ‘Sure’ about something or someone once again. And one day this constant reiteration kills your assurance.
Sure is just a jumbled or disguised form of ‘Ruse’- a deceptive tactic to avoid capture, to leave.
©Mohak Chaudhary
28.05.2017
ECHO
It fills you with delight when your screams seem to be responded to, till you realize that a hollow life can have only ‘Echos’- short lived and thus saddening.
©Mohak Chaudhary
27.05.2017
‘THEY’
After a long dormancy when ‘they’ begun enjoying and loving the reverberations of hope, they got impaired- impaired by the deafening silence of bitter truth, pessimism and dejection.
‘They’- my ears.
©Mohak Chaudhary
26.05.2017
काश
अजीब शब्द है यह, अजीब ही नहीं, जानलेवा सा है कुछ,
पल में ख़ुशी का एहसास करवा कर, अगले ही पल बना देता है तुच्छ |
–
असीमित ख़्वाबों की बुनावट का जैसे यह स्रोत है,
पर उन्हीं ख़्वाबों के साथ डूब जाने वाला एक पोत है |
–
इस तरह यह हज़ारों ऐसे ख़याली मंज़रों से रूबरू करवाता है,
कि मन हक़ीक़त की डोर तोड़ कर उड़ता चला जाता है |
–
चाहता है छूने को वो नज़ारा, दूर से लगता है जो बेहद ख़ास,
पर पास जाने भर से ही हो जाता ओझल, कर इस दिल को उदास |
–
वही मन जो उड़ रहा था आकाश के किसी पंछी सा मस्त,
गिरता है औंधे मुंह ज़मीन पर, हो जाने को अस्त-व्यस्त |
–
टूटे अपने टुकड़ों को उठाकर अपनी ही अर्थी पर, हताश सा यह मन,
निकल पड़ता है राह-ए-गुमनामी पर, करने को इक और जतन |
–
पर वो, जिसने दिखाया काँटों भरा यह रास्ता,
खो जाता है कहीं, तोड़ कर हर इक वास्ता |
–
ग़लतियों के एहसास और शर्मिंदगी से फिर हो जाता हूँ जब निराश,
तब दोबारा सहारा लेता है दिल उसका, जिसे लोग कहते हैं ‘काश’ |
——
©मोहक चौधरी ‘सचिंत’
२१.०५.२०१७
प्यास
इन बादलों को कह दे कोई कि बरसने का फायदा नहीं,
कि आजकल इंसानों की प्यास जान लेकर ही बुझती है |
©मोहक चौधरी
२१.०५.२०१७
REGRET
You tell yourself once, twice…once again, “Rebut it”,
as there’s no good in lying to yourself.
You are not that great, right? Then what’s the point to regret?
Regret- Isn’t it a word loathed by many?
But it makes you realize, rather self-recognize,
that even though you weren’t great, you could’ve tried,
tried harder, tried for one more time when you finally refused to.
Things are not in your control, they say, they just happen on their own,
the honesty in your endeavours decide whether you exult or mourn.
But it’s more about the squandered attempts, those which didn’t yield anything,
Tears, in your life, remain the only….yes, the only piece of bling.
Each failed effort especially those which you put all your heart in,
poke you time and again, making you remember of all your sins.
There’s a hollow inside, like something from inside departs,
departs to never come back, tearing your soul apart.
How to fill this ever increasing void within self?
How to cease this cruel process of unbecoming of oneself?
How to let go those feelings which stick- stick really hard?
as even the ashes left excruciate you, after everything is charred.
But that’s life. Isn’t it? It goes on viciously showing you another way,
another way which is full of opportunities and accompanying threats,
gathering my broken self, I dimly hope to fare somehow, caressing my regrets.
©Mohak Chaudhary
18.05.2017
PAIN
They say it’s the body’s way of responding to stress,
but its continuity is what makes life a mess.
One gets hurt, who does not?
Physically? Yes, physically the sensation is somewhat bearable,
bearable by body which adjusts itself according to the extent.
I’m talking here of the mental thing, when your mind takes a hideous dent.
Its unexpected strike is not what surprises the most,
the intensity by which it hits scares you like a ghost.
Agony, anguish, fear, tears all are its by-products,
joy, care, affection, love – lying to self-destruct.
Its expanse keeps on increasing gradually, pushing you to self-pity,
entailing with it is irreparable damage, irrespective of you being gritty.
In the day time you are dying to rest, unable to finish the tasks,
hiding from world, wearing a fake smile, disguising under a mask.
The night is where it engulfs you more, reminding you of all ills,
and believe you me, that screaming calm kills…… simply kills.
But does it make you stronger, like the common perception goes?
No, I infer. The weakness is inexplicable and evidently, it shows.
The only motive of life then, becomes an unusually long wait,
let alone the termination of this Pain, you literally beg it to abate.
–©Mohak Chaudhary
17.05.2017
THE LOYALIST
A companion that never forgets you when you’re down,
a mate that always accompanies you in that frown.
Someone who is destined to be with you in your pain,
a true loyalist who is closest to you during that mental strain.
Though one often tries to hide it from those around,
but to perform its duty regularly, it is quite bound.
In times of glee and celebration, one is treated like honey,
people stick around like bees, everything seems zealous and sunny.
But it’s in glumness when it matters the most,
it caresses you while others find a chance to roast.
It brings with it a flood of its friends in those sleepless nights,
when painful memories and failures give you enough of agony and fright.
Its warmth, its softness comforts you during those sighs,
it’s the only one that stands by you more in your lows than in highs.
Had it been possible, I’d have conserved, for life, its source,
but it’s something unachievable, adding to the remorse.
By now, you must be wondering who this great being is actually?
is such virtuousness mere exaggeration or does it exist factually ?
Indeed it exists, in me, in you, in all of us,
coming as per convenience, sometimes in calm, sometimes in fuss.
Formed of electrolytes, proteins and water, let me now name it my dear,
A friend of all seasons it is- the name is ‘Tear’.
©Mohak Chaudhary
16.05.2017
MAZE OF PAIN
A hollow is created inside, deep inside somewhere,
just like a black hole, it’s expanding.
Expanding to accumulate sorrow, agony, fear and pain,
emotions which are hard to bear and even harder to explain.
Feels like an arrow pierced through my heart,
and got stuck- stuck to make me feel every second,
every second of the suffering, the distress, the torment,
only to realize that all I could do now is just lament.
Was it deliberate on my part or could there have been another way?
this dilemma, this helplessness is just intensifying the mental fray,
What does it take to be hard as a rock, to be mentally tough?
don’t know, but the attempt to be so is making even me, a tad bit rough.
It’s a phase where throats of good Samaritans of love, glee, positivity and elation,
are being slit by the demons of self-hate, gloom, negativity and depression.
Achromatic seems every hue, courtesy a curtain of prolonged sorrow,
you seek for bliss to come from within as it’s something you can’t borrow.
So, what next? How to fare in this hellish Maze of Pain,
when all efforts go wasted, when every attempt seems to be in vain.
-© Mohak Chaudhary
-15.05.2017
The Screaming Introvert 